Tomorrow I have my first exam at 2:30pm, and today I have been alternating between feeling like I'll do fine and freaking out that I'm going to fail. Mostly the latter!
But I've been studying pretty hard and I think I now have a good "data bank of facts" (as my advisers put it) in my head, as well as the all-important thoughtful opinions that I'm expected to have formed. I'll continue to review as much as I can stand tonight and tomorrow morning.
In the end, I think it will mostly come down to how clearly I can think and write under pressure. I used to be pretty good at taking essay tests, but it has been eight years since I've taken one, so I'm really not sure what to expect!
With David's help, I have successfully located my academic gown and cap from various boxes, but my little black velvet tie was nowhere to be found. So today I made a brief trip into town to pick up some last minute books from the theology library and buy a new tie, which fortunately cost only £1.25. The man who sold it to me said they are very commonly lost and there must be a pile of them somewhere in Oxford.
I tried to continue to soak up the wonderfulness of Oxford while I was out, but mostly I was too stressed out to pay much attention! And also it is very hot and muggy today, which doesn't help. I hope it cools off tomorrow for my exam.
After several hours of dutiful studying at our kitchen table this afternoon, I tried on my sub fusc outfit to make sure it all looks okay. It's still silly as can be, but at least it's a better ensemble than I wore for matriculation, when I threw on an old black skirt and made a hasty run to M&S for a white blouse. That seems like so long ago!
When I had it all on today, I found that it made me feel like an actual Oxford student and more confident I might actually pass. It was nice, and I sure hope the feeling endures tomorrow! I'll be adding some lucky charms, too: my Celtic-style ring from Edinburgh and the necklace David got me as a wedding present. If the clothes make the woman, I'll be all set.
My exam will last for exactly 3 hours, and David said he'll meet me when it finishes at 5:30. That will be very nice! He is also taking the entire day off on Friday, at my request, so he can pick me up after my second and final exam (9:30-12:30) and we can celebrate!
3 comments:
My word - 3 hour essay exam. Yuk. Sounds just like law school (in law school the final exam is 100% of your grade!). We'll all be sending you good thoughts from over here. Relax, you'll do great!
Steph
you're gonna kick some academic arse. no doubt. love you friend, and am so SO proud of you! wish i could be there to celebrate with you. we'll celebrate big time when we see each other next!
scoobs
Thanks guys! You're the best!
Scoobs, I would really love it if you were here to party with me. But we will definitely catch up! Lots of birthdays to celebrate too, so some serious big fun will be in order. Can't wait.
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